Parents should remember what they don't do while child has a tantrum, guest post
Parents should remember what they don't do while child has a tantrum
Every kid shows his own ways of anger when he get irritated or when he desires to have something. While some kids are always calm and shy, some throw tantrums unnecessarily. Tantrums involve yelling, screaming and even kicking. Kids, sometimes, even roll on the floor and pound their fists which make your neighbors peep out of their windows. However, as a parent you should be careful while handling situations like this. If you slip out even a little and act accordingly when your kid starts his tantrum, in the future, he will use his tantrums to gain attention. Here are a few tips that you should follow while dealing with your kid’s tantrums.
Not to Give in
This is the most important point to be considered when tantrum strikes. You should never give in to your child’s tantrum demands under any circumstances. Such acts will force the child to increase the number and frequency of tantrums. For instance, your child demands a candy at a grocery store. Once, when you say no to his demand, you must stick to it. Your child may sometimes embarrass you in the public to meet his demand, but, even under such circumstances you need to be consistent with your “no”.
Not try to fix it
For instance, consider your child is eating an ice cream. All of a sudden, he drops his last bit of ice cream on the floor and starts screaming which is not really a tantrum. You may be moved by your child’s sadness and make an attempt to fix it. This is which you should not do. You must teach your kid to survive it.
Don’t get mad
Some people assume that a little judicious anger and yelling, may teach their children to calm down. However, this is a wrong assumption. If you join in yelling with your child, it only adds up to the emotional level in the room that sets your house on fire. Also, the child who was about to calm down will become aware of your yelling and it will start him off again. You can’t fight tantrums with fire. Instead, you need to remain calm and handle the situation.
Stop paying attention to critical looks of onlookers
For instance, you take your child to a nearby grocery store to buy the items that are essential for the week. And over there, your child starts asking you to buy the strawberry paper doll that someone has carelessly left at the checkout line. Non-parents shopping at the same store may give critical looks at your child’s behavior. Such things do not matter. Just keep in mind that they are only staring at you because they have never experienced such situations. Instead, you should feel sorry for them. Because, later when they have kids, they will not only have to face the critical looks of others but also feel guilty about their past behavior with you. People who have not experienced a toddler tantrum in public are not your friends.
Don’t distract your child
Though distraction can help you to deal with tantrums in young kids, it doesn’t seem like the kind of thing that would develop healthy emotional strategies in the long run. For instance, your child is crying and you try to distract him by taking him out to buy an amazing toy. Though your child may forget his woes for a while, this technique is the one which creates shopaholics. Here, shopping is considered an unhealthy way when used to deal with emotion or anything.
Don’t ignore tantrums
Experts recommend ignoring tantrums as they’ll go away. Though this technique works with some kids, it’s not that easy for you to ignore your child’s tantrums. If you try ignoring your child’s tantrum, he may surely follow you around kicking, pulling your hair and making attempts to climb up your body so that he can gnash his teeth in your face.
Don’t ever punish or reward your child for a tantrum
Make your child realize that, by throwing a tantrum, he wouldn't change anything. If he threw the tantrum for not allowing him to play with sand, don’t change your mind and let him to play now. At the same time, if you had promised him to take for a walk before he had the tantrum; you should keep up your promise as soon as he is calm again.
Don’t let tantrums embarrass you into kid-glove handling
It is likely for most parents to fear that their child might embarrass them in public by throwing a tantrum. But you should not buy your child whatever he asks just because he might throw a tantrum. Also, don't stop taking him out just because he throws tantrums. For instance, if you avoid taking your child to a corner shop just because he throws tantrum for sweets or if you treat him with a pack of candies to avoid an outburst at the public place, your child will soon realize what is going on. Once your child realizes that he is benefiting from his uncontrollable tantrums, he is likely to misuse them in the long run which become difficult to handle.
The above tips help you to build relationships for the long term rather than changing your child’s annoying behaviors in the short term. You need to thoughtfully respond to them so that you keep the relationship intact.
About The author: Diana is a writer/blogger. She loves writing, reading and travelling. She contributes for bornrich.com