What IFs kick you when you are down

This past week has been a hard one for me. While I love being a SAHM I sometime wish I could work a little just so we can save a little more money. So I decided to try out working at a day care center her in CO. After all that is what I was doing in AZ and I loved working with the kids. But after about two phone calls and an interview I learned that there is no way I would be able to work in CO as a day care teacher. Here is CO they require every teacher to take 12 credit hours of ECE (early childhood education). That comes out to about a year of school, because you can't take ECE 104 with out ECE 101. When I was 18 and right out of school, I never really did the college thing, and now I wish I had...

I took a few classes here and there, at first I wanted to do early childhood education but they wanted me to take a calculates class to teach 2nd graders! And that was when I changed my mind. Now in AZ before you can even take your ECE classes you have to take and intro to edu class. Well I took two and CO will not count that.

So anyhow I was betting myself up for not finishing school, and then I started to think about the bad things that come with that...

"I should have gone to school"
"I should have waited to have kids"
"I feel bad that I regret having my kids"
"There has to be something more I could do"
"We should move back to AZ so I can have family help watch the boys so I can get a job"
"Why can't I keep the house clean"
And so on.

After talking to Ryan about this he helped remind me of something. Not every mom is cut out to be a SAHM. That is a great gift that I have and even if we don't have ton of money left over, we have food on the table, cloths on our back and a roof over our head. We are blesses and he does work hard so I can stay home.

I leaned to try and see the brighter side of things and let it get me down. For anyone to say or think that being a SAHM is easy, well they have it all wrong. I clean the kitchen three times a day, do laundry almost every day, clean up the living room about every 15 mins, feed a new born, feed a 2 year old. Then you add in the other things like potty training, teaching ABC and 123s. Its a long hard day where you can't call out because your feeling sick or want to go on vacation!

I want to say to all the moms out there who feel like you could/should be doing more...



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